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The Sutherland Shire Gazette

Serving Sutherland Shire's finest satirical local news since 2024

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Cafe scene with people drinking coffee. Menu hangs on the wall. Headline "Brewxiety" sweets the shire as coffee prices soar - residents now ducking, dodging, faking phone calls to avoid coffee shout".

Cafe scene with people drinking coffee. Menu hangs on the wall. Headline "Brewxiety" sweets the shire as coffee prices soar - residents now ducking, dodging, faking phone calls to avoid coffee shout".

“Brewxiety” Sweeps the Shire as Coffee Prices Soar—Residents Now Ducking, Dodging, and Faking Phone Calls to Avoid Coffee Shout

Mar 25, 20252 min read

Large mulch pile in front of a house with five people in safety vests inspecting it. Text reads: "BREAKING: Woronora Man Falls for 'Free Mulch' Advertisement, Now Declared Missing Under It. Sutherland Shire Gazette"

Large mulch pile in front of a house with five people in safety vests inspecting it. Text reads: "BREAKING: Woronora Man Falls for 'Free Mulch' Advertisement, Now Declared Missing Under It. Sutherland Shire Gazette"

Woronora Heights Man Falls for ‘Free Mulch’ Advertisement, Now Declared Missing Under It

Mar 24, 20252 min read

"News headline about local driver trapped in Kiora Mall car park, survives on banh mi. Image shows barred parking entry in garage."

"News headline about local driver trapped in Kiora Mall car park, survives on banh mi. Image shows barred parking entry in garage."

Local Driver Trapped in Kiora Mall Car Park - Survives on World’s Best Banh Mi

Mar 23, 20252 min read

Group of men in sportswear on a soccer field, practicing drills. Text reads: "Local Dads in Panic After Volunteering as Coaches."

Group of men in sportswear on a soccer field, practicing drills. Text reads: "Local Dads in Panic After Volunteering as Coaches."

Local Dads in Full Pre-Season Panic After Accidentally Volunteering as Soccer Coaches

Mar 22, 20251 min read

Seniors dance on a beach, smiling and celebrating. Text reads "Seniors Festival 2025: Boomers Take Home TikTok Dance-Off Trophy."

Seniors dance on a beach, smiling and celebrating. Text reads "Seniors Festival 2025: Boomers Take Home TikTok Dance-Off Trophy."

Seniors Festival 2025: Boomers Take Home TikTok Dance-Off Trophy - Youth Left Mowing Lawns

Mar 21, 20252 min read

Cronulla’s Newest “Masterpiece”: Half Built North Cronulla Surf Club to be Unveiled as Bold Artistic Statement

Mar 20, 20252 min read

Man in white car with "URGENT DELIVERY" sign. Headline: Caringbah Chemist Caught—Scripts from Miranda Pharmacy. Urban background.

Man in white car with "URGENT DELIVERY" sign. Headline: Caringbah Chemist Caught—Scripts from Miranda Pharmacy. Urban background.

Caringbah Chemist Finally Caught—Scripts Are Actually Coming from Miranda

Mar 19, 20252 min read

Pharmacist assists woman in busy store filled with medicines. Sign reads "EXPOSED: The Great Chemist Conspiracy." Discount banners visible.

Pharmacist assists woman in busy store filled with medicines. Sign reads "EXPOSED: The Great Chemist Conspiracy." Discount banners visible.

EXPOSED: The Great Chemist Conspiracy - Why Does This Discount Pharmacy Move at Snail Pace in Caringbah but at Warp Speed in Miranda?

Mar 18, 20252 min read

BMW with raised wipers in a parking lot, Westfield building in background. Sutherland Shire Gazette headline: "BMW Driver Confuses Rooftop Car Park for Tetris Challenge."

BMW with raised wipers in a parking lot, Westfield building in background. Sutherland Shire Gazette headline: "BMW Driver Confuses Rooftop Car Park for Tetris Challenge."

BMW Driver Confuses Rooftop Car Park for Extreme Tetris Challenge — Casualties Include Common Sense

Mar 17, 20252 min read

Five people in heated debate at a wooden table by the beach. Text above: "EXCLUSIVE INVESTIGATION: What Exactly Is a Numbnut?"

Five people in heated debate at a wooden table by the beach. Text above: "EXCLUSIVE INVESTIGATION: What Exactly Is a Numbnut?"

Deep Investigation Launched: What Exactly Is a Numbnut? Shire Locals Locked in Heated Debate Over Definition.

Mar 16, 20252 min read

Blakey Johnston leads Cronulla to Victory Smashing World Record for Biggest Paddle Out in Support of Youth Mental Health

Mar 15, 20252 min read

Reader Tip-Off: Local Group Proposes Penny Farthings and Unicycles to Fix Shire's Ebike Chaos

Mar 14, 20251 min read

Man in apron slicing cheese at a cinema event with a popcorn machine and cinema patrons in background. Text: Cinema's Bold Pivot: From Blockbusters to Blue Cheese and Funghi-Filled Film Experiences. Sutherland Shire Gazette.

Man in apron slicing cheese at a cinema event with a popcorn machine and cinema patrons in background. Text: Cinema's Bold Pivot: From Blockbusters to Blue Cheese and Funghi-Filled Film Experiences. Sutherland Shire Gazette.

Cinema’s Bold Pivot: From Blockbusters to Blue Cheese & Fungi-Filled Film Experiences

Mar 13, 20251 min read

Sunset over Cronulla Beach, surfers gathered for a paddle out event. Headline mentions Blakey Johnstone, organized by Sutherland Shire Gazette.

Sunset over Cronulla Beach, surfers gathered for a paddle out event. Headline mentions Blakey Johnstone, organized by Sutherland Shire Gazette.

Blakey Johnstone to Make Waves (Literally) with World’s Biggest Paddle Out This Saturday at Cronulla Beach

Mar 12, 20252 min read

Fireworks burst in vibrant colors over Cronulla beach at night. People watch by the shore. Headline reads: "BREAKING: Official New Year’s Eve Fireworks Announced."

Fireworks burst in vibrant colors over Cronulla beach at night. People watch by the shore. Headline reads: "BREAKING: Official New Year’s Eve Fireworks Announced."

Official New Year’s Eve Fireworks Announced After Shire’s “Underground Pyrotechnics” Movement Wins the Battle

Mar 11, 20252 min read

A male farmer in a hat stands by a fence with a goat and a dog in a rural setting. Text: "Farmer Wants a Wife Scrambles" and "Sutherland Shire Gazette."

A male farmer in a hat stands by a fence with a goat and a dog in a rural setting. Text: "Farmer Wants a Wife Scrambles" and "Sutherland Shire Gazette."

Farmer Wants a Wife in Chaos—Producers Scramble, for Replacement - Shire 'Farmer' Troy Steps Up

Mar 10, 20251 min read

Smiling woman in car wearing sunglasses. Headlines above: "Local Shire Woman Stuns Boyfriend with Flawless Reverse Parallel Park."

Smiling woman in car wearing sunglasses. Headlines above: "Local Shire Woman Stuns Boyfriend with Flawless Reverse Parallel Park."

Local Shire Woman Stuns ‘Across the Bridge’ Boyfriend with Flawless Newtown Reverse Parallel Park

Mar 9, 20252 min read

News headline announces $78M Kurnell's Kamay Wharf for tinny rideshare. Image shows a blue boat labeled "Tide Share" on calm water.

News headline announces $78M Kurnell's Kamay Wharf for tinny rideshare. Image shows a blue boat labeled "Tide Share" on calm water.

$78M Kurnell Kamay Ferry Wharf to Host World’s First Tinny Rideshare: Tideshare

Mar 7, 20252 min read

Photo of Caringbah Marketplace looking abandoned

Photo of Caringbah Marketplace looking abandoned

From Abandoned Eyesore to Spooky Attraction? Bold New Plans for Caringbah Marketplace

Mar 6, 20251 min read

Doctors in blue scrubs perform plumbing tasks in a workshop. Others in white coats stand outside TAFE NSW. Headline: "Stethoscopes to Spanners."

Doctors in blue scrubs perform plumbing tasks in a workshop. Others in white coats stand outside TAFE NSW. Headline: "Stethoscopes to Spanners."

From Stethoscopes to Spanners: Shire GPs Ditch Medicine for Plumbing as Patients Prefer to Pay Tradie Rates

Mar 5, 20251 min read

Teen surfer watching waves on surfing on TV, cozy in a dim room. Headline: Local teen mysteriously has gastro before cyclone swell. Sutherland Shire Gazette.

Teen surfer watching waves on surfing on TV, cozy in a dim room. Headline: Local teen mysteriously has gastro before cyclone swell. Sutherland Shire Gazette.

Local Teen Surfer Mysteriously Develops "Gastro" Days Before Cyclone Swell Arrives

Mar 4, 20252 min read

Teens with retro pedal power bikes, one with a basket of flowers by the ocean, smiling. Headline: Pedal Power is the New Punk. Sutherland Shire Gazette.

Teens with retro pedal power bikes, one with a basket of flowers by the ocean, smiling. Headline: Pedal Power is the New Punk. Sutherland Shire Gazette.

Pedal Power is the New Punk: Shire Teens Spark Underground ‘Retro Bike’ Movement

Mar 4, 20252 min read

Empty strollers abandoned in a parking lot near a playground. Headline reads: Luxury Pram Crisis. Mood is mysterious and abandoned.

Empty strollers abandoned in a parking lot near a playground. Headline reads: Luxury Pram Crisis. Mood is mysterious and abandoned.

Luxury Pram Crisis. Shire Grandparents Abandon $2K+ Prams in

Mar 3, 20252 min read

Split image of Miranda Fair and Westfield shopping centers, highlighting the "Great Shire Identity Crisis." Text and logos are visible.

Split image of Miranda Fair and Westfield shopping centers, highlighting the "Great Shire Identity Crisis." Text and logos are visible.

Miranda Fair vs Westfield Miranda: The Great Shire Identity Crisis

Mar 2, 20251 min read

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