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The Sutherland Shire Gazette

Serving Sutherland Shire's finest satirical local news since 2024

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A woman points at food in a fish and chip shop. Customers line up. The text discusses a new vegan's dilemma with chicken salt.

A woman points at food in a fish and chip shop. Customers line up. The text discusses a new vegan's dilemma with chicken salt.

Newly Vegan Local Faces Moral Crisis Over Chicken Salt: "I Wasn't Ready for This"

Apr 121 min read

Shire Novice Causes Peak Hour Chaos by Sitting in Left Lane at Taren Point Lights: Locals Outraged

Apr 111 min read

Crowd at fairground with Ferris wheel and rides. Headline: Pop up lender at Miranda fair offering 30 year mortgages for tickets to attend the royal easter show. Sutherland Shire Gazette.

Crowd at fairground with Ferris wheel and rides. Headline: Pop up lender at Miranda fair offering 30 year mortgages for tickets to attend the royal easter show. Sutherland Shire Gazette.

Pop-Up Lender at Miranda Fair Now Offering 30-Year Mortgages for Tickets To Attend The Royal Easter Show

Apr 101 min read

News article headline about a tech app for siren alerts. Fire trucks on a coastal road. Includes an app ad with pricing and features. Headline text: Just in: Shire tech bro entrepreneur invents app to monetise local panic - helicopter tracker included". Sutherland Shire Gazette

News article headline about a tech app for siren alerts. Fire trucks on a coastal road. Includes an app ad with pricing and features. Headline text: Just in: Shire tech bro entrepreneur invents app to monetise local panic - helicopter tracker included". Sutherland Shire Gazette

Shire Tech Bro Entrepreneur Invents App to Monetise Local Sirens Panic – Helicopter Tracker Included

Apr 92 min read

Man holds large cardboard box in living room. Headline reads: "Local Man Weighs Future of Cardboard Box Like Real Estate Investment."

Man holds large cardboard box in living room. Headline reads: "Local Man Weighs Future of Cardboard Box Like Real Estate Investment."

It’s Just Too Good to Throw Out’: Local Man Weighs Future of Cardboard Box Like It's a Real Estate Investment

Apr 82 min read

Man with a cold compress on head rests on a sofa under a blanket, eyes closed. Headline reads "From Northies To Nausea - Local Gymea Dad Overstimulated into Oblivion by Four Kids' Parties in Two Days"

Man with a cold compress on head rests on a sofa under a blanket, eyes closed. Headline reads "From Northies To Nausea - Local Gymea Dad Overstimulated into Oblivion by Four Kids' Parties in Two Days"

From Northies to Nausea - Local Gymea Dad Overstimulated into Oblivion by four Kid's Parties in Two Days.

Apr 72 min read

Man with curly hair walking curly-haired dog along a Cronulla promenade during sunset. Both wear blue shirts. Text overlay: "JUST IN: Local Man Mistaken for his dog - adminst its not the first time.". Text Sutherland Shire Gazette.

Man with curly hair walking curly-haired dog along a Cronulla promenade during sunset. Both wear blue shirts. Text overlay: "JUST IN: Local Man Mistaken for his dog - adminst its not the first time.". Text Sutherland Shire Gazette.

Local Man Mistaken for His Dog - Admits It’s Not the First Time

Apr 22 min read

Sutherland Shire declares independence - now a sovereign nation. Highway toll booths with cars; sign reads "Welcome to The People's Republic of Sutherland Shire."

Sutherland Shire declares independence - now a sovereign nation. Highway toll booths with cars; sign reads "Welcome to The People's Republic of Sutherland Shire."

Sutherland Shire Declares Independence - Now a Sovereign Nation.

Apr 11 min read

Cars at Oak Road Kirrawee intersection under cloudy sky, featuring a makeshift turning lane. Headline above reads, "Local Driver Builds Own Lane."

Cars at Oak Road Kirrawee intersection under cloudy sky, featuring a makeshift turning lane. Headline above reads, "Local Driver Builds Own Lane."

Local Driver Gives Up on Council, Builds Own Lane at Oak Road Intersection

Mar 311 min read

Person with a yellow-green umbrella stands on a flooded sports field at sunset. Text headline: Dont even bother: local sports season already declared a washout by weather gods. Mood: somber.

Person with a yellow-green umbrella stands on a flooded sports field at sunset. Text headline: Dont even bother: local sports season already declared a washout by weather gods. Mood: somber.

“Don’t Even Bother”: Local Sports Season Already Declared a Washout by Weather Gods

Mar 302 min read

Aerial view of an empty Cronulla Sharks football stadium beside apartment buildings, surrounded by trees. Headline: Exclusive Investigation on 'North Cronulla Surf Club Virus' by Harper Vale.

Aerial view of an empty Cronulla Sharks football stadium beside apartment buildings, surrounded by trees. Headline: Exclusive Investigation on 'North Cronulla Surf Club Virus' by Harper Vale.

Mysterious Delay Syndrome Spreads: Sharks Leagues Club Caught ‘North Cronulla Virus’

Mar 291 min read

Gold trophy with cross and landscape carvings, spotlighted on stage. Text: Sutherland Shire wins ‘God’s Country’ Award for 40th year. Sutherland Shire Gazette

Gold trophy with cross and landscape carvings, spotlighted on stage. Text: Sutherland Shire wins ‘God’s Country’ Award for 40th year. Sutherland Shire Gazette

BREAKING: Sutherland Shire Wins ‘God’s Country’ Award for 40th Straight Year

Mar 282 min read

Man in grey suit holds phone with WhatsApp open. Office in background. Text: "Breaking: Journalist added to Council chat, learns nothing."

Man in grey suit holds phone with WhatsApp open. Office in background. Text: "Breaking: Journalist added to Council chat, learns nothing."

Sutherland Shire Gazette Journalist Accidentally Added to Council WhatsApp Chat, Learns Nothing of Value

Mar 271 min read

Smiling female news reporter with a microphone on a beach. "Sutherland Shire Gazette" text overlaid. "Vote for Us" Local Business Awards badge visible. Text Headline: Breaking: Journalistic Excellence or Sheer Desperation? Sutherland Shire Gazette Nominated for Local Business Awards

Smiling female news reporter with a microphone on a beach. "Sutherland Shire Gazette" text overlaid. "Vote for Us" Local Business Awards badge visible. Text Headline: Breaking: Journalistic Excellence or Sheer Desperation? Sutherland Shire Gazette Nominated for Local Business Awards

Journalistic Excellence or Sheer Desperation? Sutherland Shire Gazette Nominated for Local Business Awards

Mar 261 min read

Cafe scene with people drinking coffee. Menu hangs on the wall. Headline "Brewxiety" sweets the shire as coffee prices soar - residents now ducking, dodging, faking phone calls to avoid coffee shout".

Cafe scene with people drinking coffee. Menu hangs on the wall. Headline "Brewxiety" sweets the shire as coffee prices soar - residents now ducking, dodging, faking phone calls to avoid coffee shout".

“Brewxiety” Sweeps the Shire as Coffee Prices Soar—Residents Now Ducking, Dodging, and Faking Phone Calls to Avoid Coffee Shout

Mar 252 min read

Large mulch pile in front of a house with five people in safety vests inspecting it. Text reads: "BREAKING: Woronora Man Falls for 'Free Mulch' Advertisement, Now Declared Missing Under It. Sutherland Shire Gazette"

Large mulch pile in front of a house with five people in safety vests inspecting it. Text reads: "BREAKING: Woronora Man Falls for 'Free Mulch' Advertisement, Now Declared Missing Under It. Sutherland Shire Gazette"

Woronora Heights Man Falls for ‘Free Mulch’ Advertisement, Now Declared Missing Under It

Mar 242 min read

"News headline about local driver trapped in Kiora Mall car park, survives on banh mi. Image shows barred parking entry in garage."

"News headline about local driver trapped in Kiora Mall car park, survives on banh mi. Image shows barred parking entry in garage."

Local Driver Trapped in Kiora Mall Car Park - Survives on World’s Best Banh Mi

Mar 232 min read

Group of men in sportswear on a soccer field, practicing drills. Text reads: "Local Dads in Panic After Volunteering as Coaches."

Group of men in sportswear on a soccer field, practicing drills. Text reads: "Local Dads in Panic After Volunteering as Coaches."

Local Dads in Full Pre-Season Panic After Accidentally Volunteering as Soccer Coaches

Mar 221 min read

Seniors dance on a beach, smiling and celebrating. Text reads "Seniors Festival 2025: Boomers Take Home TikTok Dance-Off Trophy."

Seniors dance on a beach, smiling and celebrating. Text reads "Seniors Festival 2025: Boomers Take Home TikTok Dance-Off Trophy."

Seniors Festival 2025: Boomers Take Home TikTok Dance-Off Trophy - Youth Left Mowing Lawns

Mar 212 min read

Cronulla’s Newest “Masterpiece”: Half Built North Cronulla Surf Club to be Unveiled as Bold Artistic Statement

Mar 202 min read

Man in white car with "URGENT DELIVERY" sign. Headline: Caringbah Chemist Caught—Scripts from Miranda Pharmacy. Urban background.

Man in white car with "URGENT DELIVERY" sign. Headline: Caringbah Chemist Caught—Scripts from Miranda Pharmacy. Urban background.

Caringbah Chemist Finally Caught—Scripts Are Actually Coming from Miranda

Mar 192 min read

Pharmacist assists woman in busy store filled with medicines. Sign reads "EXPOSED: The Great Chemist Conspiracy." Discount banners visible.

Pharmacist assists woman in busy store filled with medicines. Sign reads "EXPOSED: The Great Chemist Conspiracy." Discount banners visible.

EXPOSED: The Great Chemist Conspiracy - Why Does This Discount Pharmacy Move at Snail Pace in Caringbah but at Warp Speed in Miranda?

Mar 182 min read

BMW with raised wipers in a parking lot, Westfield building in background. Sutherland Shire Gazette headline: "BMW Driver Confuses Rooftop Car Park for Tetris Challenge."

BMW with raised wipers in a parking lot, Westfield building in background. Sutherland Shire Gazette headline: "BMW Driver Confuses Rooftop Car Park for Tetris Challenge."

BMW Driver Confuses Rooftop Car Park for Extreme Tetris Challenge — Casualties Include Common Sense

Mar 172 min read

Five people in heated debate at a wooden table by the beach. Text above: "EXCLUSIVE INVESTIGATION: What Exactly Is a Numbnut?"

Five people in heated debate at a wooden table by the beach. Text above: "EXCLUSIVE INVESTIGATION: What Exactly Is a Numbnut?"

Deep Investigation Launched: What Exactly Is a Numbnut? Shire Locals Locked in Heated Debate Over Definition.

Mar 162 min read

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