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The Sutherland Shire Gazette

Serving Sutherland Shire's finest satirical local news since 2024

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Adults in a hallway look shocked at a whiteboard covered in game scores. Headline Text: Under 7's Soccer Regrading Scandal Erupts After 10-0 "Victory" Built Entirely on Wrong Goals. Parents Call for VAR Review.

Adults in a hallway look shocked at a whiteboard covered in game scores. Headline Text: Under 7's Soccer Regrading Scandal Erupts After 10-0 "Victory" Built Entirely on Wrong Goals. Parents Call for VAR Review.

Under 7's Soccer Regrading Scandal Erupts After 10-0 "Victory" Built Entirely on Wrong Goals. Parents Call for VAR Review.

Apr 28, 20252 min read

Person with a yellow-green umbrella stands on a flooded sports field at sunset. Text headline: Dont even bother: local sports season already declared a washout by weather gods. Mood: somber.

Person with a yellow-green umbrella stands on a flooded sports field at sunset. Text headline: Dont even bother: local sports season already declared a washout by weather gods. Mood: somber.

“Don’t Even Bother”: Local Sports Season Already Declared a Washout by Weather Gods

Mar 30, 20252 min read

Aerial view of an empty Cronulla Sharks football stadium beside apartment buildings, surrounded by trees. Headline: Exclusive Investigation on 'North Cronulla Surf Club Virus' by Harper Vale.

Aerial view of an empty Cronulla Sharks football stadium beside apartment buildings, surrounded by trees. Headline: Exclusive Investigation on 'North Cronulla Surf Club Virus' by Harper Vale.

Mysterious Delay Syndrome Spreads: Sharks Leagues Club Caught ‘North Cronulla Virus’

Mar 29, 20251 min read

Group of men in sportswear on a soccer field, practicing drills. Text reads: "Local Dads in Panic After Volunteering as Coaches."

Group of men in sportswear on a soccer field, practicing drills. Text reads: "Local Dads in Panic After Volunteering as Coaches."

Local Dads in Full Pre-Season Panic After Accidentally Volunteering as Soccer Coaches

Mar 22, 20251 min read

Reader Tip-Off: Local Group Proposes Penny Farthings and Unicycles to Fix Shire's Ebike Chaos

Mar 14, 20251 min read

Teens with retro pedal power bikes, one with a basket of flowers by the ocean, smiling. Headline: Pedal Power is the New Punk. Sutherland Shire Gazette.

Teens with retro pedal power bikes, one with a basket of flowers by the ocean, smiling. Headline: Pedal Power is the New Punk. Sutherland Shire Gazette.

Pedal Power is the New Punk: Shire Teens Spark Underground ‘Retro Bike’ Movement

Mar 4, 20252 min read

Athletes in colorful gear race on Wanda Beach, with a crowd in the background. Headline and details about the Sydney Branch Champs overlay.

Athletes in colorful gear race on Wanda Beach, with a crowd in the background. Headline and details about the Sydney Branch Champs overlay.

Wanda Beach Gears Up for the Most Prestigious Race of the Sydney Branch Champs: The Sand Hose Chase

Feb 8, 20252 min read

Woman in yellow and green olympic tracksuit raises arms on stage to large beach crowd. Text: "Olympic Breakdancer to Headline Australia's Day Festivities".

Woman in yellow and green olympic tracksuit raises arms on stage to large beach crowd. Text: "Olympic Breakdancer to Headline Australia's Day Festivities".

Olympic Breakdancer Ray Gun to Headline Shire's Australia Day Festivities

Jan 20, 20252 min read

E-bike Cyclists race by the ocean in Cronulla, cheered by a crowd. Headline: "Cronulla E-Bike 500 Rumored to Hit the Streets, Teen Speed Spectacle."

E-bike Cyclists race by the ocean in Cronulla, cheered by a crowd. Headline: "Cronulla E-Bike 500 Rumored to Hit the Streets, Teen Speed Spectacle."

Cronulla E-Bike 500 Rumored to Hit the Streets, Teen Speed Spectacle

Jan 17, 20252 min read

Police officers stand on a beach near a patrol car with flashing lights. Headline: . Byline: Blake Curran | Investigative Journalist | Sutherland Shire Gazette Byline: Blake Curran, Investigative Journalist, Sutherland Shire Gazette

Police officers stand on a beach near a patrol car with flashing lights. Headline: . Byline: Blake Curran | Investigative Journalist | Sutherland Shire Gazette Byline: Blake Curran, Investigative Journalist, Sutherland Shire Gazette

Cronulla's Shelly Beach Rockpool Scandal: Early Morning Whiteboard Rampage Sparks Outrage Among Swimmer

Jan 9, 20252 min read

Two boats on a blue river with people enjoying the ride. Houses and trees in the background. Headline reads: "Port Hacking vs. Georges River: Shire's Great Waterway Debate Reignites in time for summer." Byline Finn Seabrook Local Correspondent Sutherland Shire Gazette

Two boats on a blue river with people enjoying the ride. Houses and trees in the background. Headline reads: "Port Hacking vs. Georges River: Shire's Great Waterway Debate Reignites in time for summer." Byline Finn Seabrook Local Correspondent Sutherland Shire Gazette

Port Hacking vs. Georges River: Shire’s Great Waterway Debate Reignites in Time for Summer

Jan 1, 20252 min read

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