“Don’t Even Bother”: Local Sports Season Already Declared a Washout by Weather Gods

Liam Montgomery | Sports Reporter | Sutherland Shire Gazette

30 March 2025

In what can only be described as an act of administrative efficiency, the mysterious forces that control weekend weather in the Sutherland Shire have issued an early ruling: “It’s not happening.”

Despite the season not even starting, junior footy teams, netball squads, and over-35s soccer players have already been advised to emotionally detach from the concept of competition. “We’re expecting a historic season for wet weather cancellations, with some age groups potentially going undefeated—not because they’re good, but because they never get to play,” confirmed local weather expert Greg “Cloud Watcher” Thompson.

The Bureau of Meteorology remains silent on the matter, but seasoned Shire parents know the drill. “It’ll be 27 degrees and perfect all week,” sighed veteran soccer coach Mark Deacon. “Then come Saturday, we get sideways rain, 90km/h winds, and a ‘field closed’ email that somehow still asks us to check back in an hour just in case.”

Netball mums have already begun their weekly tradition of staring at ominous clouds while refreshing the council website with the intensity of someone trying to buy Taylor Swift tickets.

Some have even taken to preemptively packing the car, knowing full well they’ll only be driving to the courts to watch an official poke the asphalt and declare it “too damp for safety but perfect for a casual dog walk.”

Meanwhile, junior rugby league officials have accepted their fate, with plans to replace match fixtures with a new points system based on which teams would have won if they had actually played. Parents have begun adapting too, with some over-35s soccer teams opting to just meet at the pub every Saturday instead, reasoning that at least those bookings never get cancelled due to wet weather.