JUST IN: Local Mum Returns to City Office, Shocked to Discover The True Meaning of Dysfunction.

Chris T Tide | Foreign Correspondent | Sutherland Shire Gazette

29 January 2026

SYDNEY CBD - A local mother and city worker returning to the office this week after weeks of summer school holiday juggling with her husband has confirmed a long-held suspicion: corporate workplaces are essentially childcare centres for adults who should know better.

After surviving January by juggling WFH, vacation care logistics, rotating playdates to buy herself 90 uninterrupted minutes, and responding to 400 snack requests before 10am, the mother arrived in the CBD expecting calm, structure, and fewer emotional outbursts.

She was wrong.

Within minutes, the office kitchen became the arena. Colleagues hovered around the fridge, opening it repeatedly “just to check,” despite nothing changing. One adult loudly announced they were “starving” at 9:17am. Another sighed at the lack of almond milk like it was a personal betrayal.

Meetings offered no relief. Participants spoke over one another, ignored the agenda, and asked questions already answered on the first slide. One colleague announced they “hadn’t had coffee yet” as if formally filing for an exemption from basic behaviour.

Unlike her seven and nine-year-olds - who have learned to wait their turn and accept disappointment - office adults were observed interrupting freely, resisting instructions, and reacting emotionally to mild inconvenience. One man audibly groaned when asked to complete a task not clearly outlined in the calendar invite.

“In one meeting, we spent 20 minutes discussing when to have the next meeting. I’ve seen toddlers share Lego with more efficiency.”

By mid-morning, the mother reported a familiar fatigue: the kind that comes from supervising people who technically outrank you but still can’t follow basic rules.

At press time, the mother was seen eating lunch uninterrupted - a rare win - while a grown colleague staged a quiet meltdown over a printer jam.

Experts confirm the hardest part of returning to work after school holidays isn’t the commute - it’s realising the adults need more supervision than the children.

Welcome back to the arena.