BREAKING: Shire Floats Plan for Its Own Airport After Driveway Light Fever Accidentally Builds ‘Unregulated Runway Network’.

Sandy Shores | Editor-inChief | Sutherland Shire Gazette

20 November 2025

SUTHERLAND SHIRE - In a move surprising absolutely no one who has driven through the suburbs after dark, the Shire is reportedly toying with the idea of launching its own airport after residents’ obsession with blue driveway reflector lights accidentally created what aviation observers are politely calling “a loosely coordinated system of unregulated runways.”

The trend began as a simple safety measure: one household installed a pair of driveway lights to help guests find the right house at night. Within a fortnight, entire streets were glowing like budget airstrips. From above, parts of Kareela, Gymea and Jannali now resemble a flight path designed by someone who has only ever read about airports in theory.

Rumours of an official proposal began circulating after a light aircraft allegedly dipped low over a cul-de-sac, prompting residents to wonder whether they should install runway numbers or at least keep a fire extinguisher handy.

A council spokesperson declined to comment directly but did acknowledge “a growing enthusiasm for illumination across the LGA” and confirmed that several streets “could technically be described as aviation-adjacent, depending on your level of optimism.”

Local reaction is predictably mixed. Some residents are thrilled at the idea of boarding a flight to Queensland without crossing the Captain Cook Bridge. Others fear planes will interrupt their precious evening routine of glaring at neighbours who reverse too aggressively.

Pilots, meanwhile, remain baffled. One commercial captain admitted that, from altitude, “half the Shire looks like it’s preparing for a small but confident aircraft movement.”

Council is rumoured to be promising “further consultation,” which historically means “absolutely nothing will happen.”