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The Sutherland Shire Gazette

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Serving Sutherland Shire's finest satirical local news since 2024

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A woman points at food in a fish and chip shop. Customers line up. The text discusses a new vegan's dilemma with chicken salt.

Newly Vegan Local Faces Moral Crisis Over Chicken Salt: "I Wasn't Ready for This"

Apr 121 min read

Crowd at fairground with Ferris wheel and rides. Headline: Pop up lender at Miranda fair offering 30 year mortgages for tickets to attend the royal easter show. Sutherland Shire Gazette.

Pop-Up Lender at Miranda Fair Now Offering 30-Year Mortgages for Tickets To Attend The Royal Easter Show

Apr 101 min read

News article headline about a tech app for siren alerts. Fire trucks on a coastal road. Includes an app ad with pricing and features. Headline text: Just in: Shire tech bro entrepreneur invents app to monetise local panic - helicopter tracker included". Sutherland Shire Gazette

Shire Tech Bro Entrepreneur Invents App to Monetise Local Sirens Panic – Helicopter Tracker Included

Apr 92 min read

Man holds large cardboard box in living room. Headline reads: "Local Man Weighs Future of Cardboard Box Like Real Estate Investment."

It’s Just Too Good to Throw Out’: Local Man Weighs Future of Cardboard Box Like It's a Real Estate Investment

Apr 82 min read

Man with a cold compress on head rests on a sofa under a blanket, eyes closed. Headline reads "From Northies To Nausea - Local Gymea Dad Overstimulated into Oblivion by Four Kids' Parties in Two Days"

From Northies to Nausea - Local Gymea Dad Overstimulated into Oblivion by four Kid's Parties in Two Days.

Apr 72 min read

Man with curly hair walking curly-haired dog along a Cronulla promenade during sunset. Both wear blue shirts. Text overlay: "JUST IN: Local Man Mistaken for his dog - adminst its not the first time.". Text Sutherland Shire Gazette.

Local Man Mistaken for His Dog - Admits It’s Not the First Time

Apr 22 min read

Person with a yellow-green umbrella stands on a flooded sports field at sunset. Text headline: Dont even bother: local sports season already declared a washout by weather gods. Mood: somber.

“Don’t Even Bother”: Local Sports Season Already Declared a Washout by Weather Gods

Mar 302 min read

Aerial view of an empty Cronulla Sharks football stadium beside apartment buildings, surrounded by trees. Headline: Exclusive Investigation on 'North Cronulla Surf Club Virus' by Harper Vale.

Mysterious Delay Syndrome Spreads: Sharks Leagues Club Caught ‘North Cronulla Virus’

Mar 291 min read

Gold trophy with cross and landscape carvings, spotlighted on stage. Text: Sutherland Shire wins ‘God’s Country’ Award for 40th year. Sutherland Shire Gazette

BREAKING: Sutherland Shire Wins ‘God’s Country’ Award for 40th Straight Year

Mar 282 min read

Cafe scene with people drinking coffee. Menu hangs on the wall. Headline "Brewxiety" sweets the shire as coffee prices soar - residents now ducking, dodging, faking phone calls to avoid coffee shout".

“Brewxiety” Sweeps the Shire as Coffee Prices Soar—Residents Now Ducking, Dodging, and Faking Phone Calls to Avoid Coffee Shout

Mar 242 min read

"News headline about local driver trapped in Kiora Mall car park, survives on banh mi. Image shows barred parking entry in garage."

Local Driver Trapped in Kiora Mall Car Park - Survives on World’s Best Banh Mi

Mar 232 min read

Group of men in sportswear on a soccer field, practicing drills. Text reads: "Local Dads in Panic After Volunteering as Coaches."

Local Dads in Full Pre-Season Panic After Accidentally Volunteering as Soccer Coaches

Mar 221 min read

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