“Just Give Me a Large”: Local Man Shaken by One-Size-Fits-All Coffee Policy

Sienna Rivers | Lifestyle & Trends Columist | Sutherland Shire Gazette

9 August 2025

A local man is reportedly “still rattled” after attempting to order a large flat white at a newly opened artisanal bakery somewhere near the water, on one of the Shire’s eastern peninsulas  only to be told: “We only do one size here.”

“I asked for a large, like a normal human,” said Brett, 52, a father of two who still calls Netflix ‘videos’ and remembers when you could smoke in the TAB. “And the girl behind the counter just stared at me and said, ‘There’s only one size.’ Like some kind of caffeinated riddle.”

The cafe- nestled in a street where parallel parking is a competitive sport - has already been whispered about in local circles for its one-size coffee policy, “intuitive queueing system” (no lines, just vibes) and a menu printed entirely in lower-case serif with no prices.

“They handed me a cup roughly the size of a takeaway miso soup, but charged me $6.80,” Brett said. “I didn’t know if I was meant to drink it or display it on a shelf next to my wedding china.”

Staff say the single-size cup is “carefully curated for flavour integrity and balance.” Brett says it’s “not big enough to drink while doing anything else - like school drop-off, or living.”

Cultural anthropologist Dr Leonie Delaney explains: “For some, coffee is a measured performance of artisanal refinement. For others, it’s petrol for the human body. This is where worlds collide.”

At press time, Brett was last seen at a petrol station filling a self-serve flat white into a 500ml Slurpee cup, muttering, “Now that’s a large.”