Kings Birthday Honours List Includes Two Shire Residents and One Seagull

Chris T Tide | Foreign Correspondent | Sutherland Shire Gazette

9 June 2025

LONDON:  In a bureaucratic mix-up believed to have originated somewhere between the Governor-General’s Office and a malfunctioning council database, two unsuspecting Sutherland Shire locals and one particularly aggressive Cronulla seagull have found themselves on this year’s King’s Birthday Honours List.

Barry “Bazza” Thompson, 63, of Bangor, was notified of his surprise knighthood late Friday after checking his junk mail. The letter commended him for “Services to Community Engagement and Public Infrastructure Feedback,” widely believed to reference his legendary Saturday morning rants at the council depot about potholes, rates, and why traffic lights take so long.

“I just tell it like it is,” Sir Bazza told The Gazette, cracking a VB and gesturing at his leaf blower. “Didn’t expect a knighthood for it, but I’ll take it. Do I get a sword?”

Also honoured was Karen Withers of Caringbah South, recognised for her “Lifetime Achievement in Passive-Aggressive Facebook Commenting and Neighbourhood Surveillance.” When reached for comment, she simply posted: “Some of us have been doing the hard yards since the Neighbourhood Watch era, hun.”

The third honouree, Gulliver, a six-year-old seagull known for bold daylight chip theft on North Cronulla beach, was praised for his “unrelenting commitment to local economic redistribution.” Witnesses say Gulliver accepted the medal, screamed at a toddler, and flew off with a Chiko Roll.

Buckingham Palace has declined to comment, though one aide was overheard muttering, “Honestly, they’re more deserving than half the Lords.”

Plans are already underway for a beachfront investiture ceremony. Dress code: thongs optional, attitude compulsory.

Kings Birthday Honours List