Study Confirms a Liar’s Final Words Are Usually “I Swear I’m Not Lying” - Shire Residents Say They Knew That Already

Callum Finnerty | Features Editor | Sutherland Shire Gazette

24 November 2025

Groundbreaking new research has confirmed what most locals suspected all along: statistically, a liar’s last words are almost always “I swear I’m not lying.”

The study, conducted by behavioural scientists and one very tired HR manager, analysed hundreds of conversations from workplaces, group chats, and family WhatsApp threads across the Shire. Researchers noted a strong correlation between that phrase and what they called “imminent revelation of total nonsense.”

“It’s the linguistic equivalent of saying ‘trust me’ before doing something profoundly untrustworthy,” said lead researcher Dr. Felix Ledger. “Once those words leave a person’s mouth, honesty has already left the building.”

Examples included a boyfriend explaining why his phone was on airplane mode for 14 hours, a council spokesperson promising a “minor” mall renovation, and one local claiming they “only had two drinks at Northies.”

The study also revealed several “close cousins” of the phrase, including “to be honest,” “long story short,” and the Shire classic, “nah seriously though.” Each, according to researchers, indicates truth decay at an advanced stage.

Local response has been immediate. “I knew it,” said Miranda mum Stacey, who described the findings as “a scientific vindication of my marriage.” Others have called for the phrase to be listed as a warning label under Australian Consumer Law.

Dr. Ledger says the research could help people detect dishonesty earlier. “If someone says ‘I swear I’m not lying,’ they’re not only lying - they’re rehearsed,” he said. “At that point, you’re not in a conversation. You’re in a performance.”

As for what phrase most often follows, researchers say it’s usually: “Look, this has all been blown out of proportion.”