Sutherland Shire Officially Plunged Into Lawn-Mowing Frenzy As Sun Finally Emerges - Mowers Heard Roaring Louder Than Cockatoos

Sandy Shores | Editor In Chief | Sutherland Shire Gazette

17 August 2025

It was a scene not witnessed since pre-La Niña times: the collective roar of Victas, Hondas and battered old Ozitos echoed across the Shire today, as men abandoned golf, bucks’ dos and even footy finals prep to seize the first sunny Sunday in weeks.

Local meteorologists released a “Green Alert” to confirm what everyone could already hear and smell: unprecedented levels of synchronised mowing from Alfords Point to Kurnell.

Witnesses reported the scent of freshly cut grass reaching almost nausea-inducing levels. One local described the smell as “like nature’s Lynx Africa - everywhere, overwhelming, and slightly regrettable.”

Even more shocking, local legend Robbo (whose real name is known only unto God), failed to appear in the front bar of Boyle’s Hotel for the first time in living memory. Concerned staff launched an informal welfare check. Relief came only when neighbours spotted him, shirtless in thongs and shorts, hacking at waist-high clover with grim determination. 

Sociologists confirmed that the unmistakable smell of cut grass triggered primal responses across the Shire. Children were ordered off trampolines mid-bounce, hungover boyfriends were conscripted into edging duties, and at least one Miranda local was spotted running the mower shirtless at 8:45am to assert suburban dominance.

Scientists now warn that the collective hum of lawnmowers may have temporarily knocked out low-frequency communications across the Shire, but locals remain unbothered. “It’s the price of living amongst men who treat Sir Walter like a rival knight in battle,” one local resident sighed.

With more rain forecast midweek, the window is closing fast. Shire officials have issued a public reminder that mowing now may buy you social credibility until mid-September - but failure to mow this weekend could see lawns officially classified as “feral paddocks.”

As dusk settled, one thing was clear: the Shire has rediscovered its true spring perfume, and it smells like victory.

If you didn’t mow today, you may as well move to Bondi.

Lawn Mowers Frenzy Shire