Festoon Lights Blamed For Record Sale in Bangor, Property Market Enters Delusion Era

Isla Cove | Property Editor | Sutherland Shire Gazette

26 July 2025

BANGOR - A previously unsellable three-bedroom house in Bangor has stunned the local real estate scene today, fetching $421,000 above reserve - thanks almost entirely to the strategic installation of festoon lights.

The same property had languished on the market earlier this year, described in agent feedback as “fine, I guess” and “sort of gives public toilet energy out the back.” But following a Sunday binge of The Block and a Better Homes episode on “budget glow-ups”, owners Pete and Alana strung up two lines of $79 festoon lights from Bunnings, re-shot the listing, and re-launched with confidence levels rarely seen outside a property-flipping subreddit.

“It’s the same courtyard,” admitted their agent. “But now people walk in, squint slightly, and start imagining themselves hosting artisinal grazing platter and rosé evenings."

The campaign drew frenzied foot traffic, including three separate buyers who said they’d “never really considered Bangor but could see themselves soft-launching a new personality there.”

Auction day saw five bidders, multiple passive-aggressive eyebrow raises, and one local developer who was clearly there just to make others feel poor.

The eventual buyer, a corporate comms manager named Tessa, admitted she hadn’t noticed the lack of air con. “It’s just... the vibe,” she said, while eyeing off where her outdoor pizza oven might go.

A second string of festoon lights is now rumoured to be behind a quiet listing surge in Alfords Point.

The housing bubble remains undefeated.