Heads Will Roll: Mannequin Theft Sparks Frenzy in Gymea

Riley Corbett | Crimes Reporter | Sutherland Shire Gazette

1 February

Gymea residents were left scratching their heads this week after the mysterious theft of a mannequin’s head from a front yard display sent the suburb into a spin. The lifelike noggin, affectionately dubbed “Manny” by locals, had been perched proudly in a quirky garden arrangement on Talara Road for years—until it vanished in the dead of night.

“I was beside myself when I saw it was gone,” said homeowner Sharon Collins. “Manny’s head was part of the family. The garden looks so…headless without him.”

The bizarre crime has sparked a frenzy of amateur investigations across the Shire, with locals taking to Facebook groups to share theories. Was it a prank? A rogue collector of mannequin memorabilia? Or, as one commenter suggested, “a gang of teens on fat-tyred e-bikes taking headhunting to a whole new level”?

Eyewitness reports have only deepened the mystery. One neighbor claims to have seen a shadowy figure cycling down the street clutching something “shaped like a bowling ball.” Another insists the mannequin head was spotted propped up in the front basket of an e-bike, wearing oversized sunglasses.

Gymea’s tight-knit community has rallied together, launching what they’re calling a “literal headhunt.” Local dads armed with torches have been scouring backyard sheds, while a group of school kids on scooters was seen interrogating pigeons near the train station.

The head-related puns have reached fever pitch. “We need to get ahead of this,” wrote one local in a Gymea Neighbourhood Watch thread. Another suggested, “Let’s hope the thief doesn’t lose their head when caught.”

Police, who have yet to comment on whether an official mannequin theft task force will be formed, have urged calm. “We’ll find Manny’s head,” assured one officer, “and we’ll ensure justice is served—head and shoulders above the law.”

For now, the residents of Gymea are keeping their eyes peeled and their heads held high. As one optimistic commenter put it, “Let’s not lose our heads over this—it’s only a matter of time before Manny comes home.”