JUST IN: Australia Post Trials New “Scenic Route” Express Service — Taren Point to Cronulla via Everywhere Except Cronulla.

Christ T Tide | Foreign Correspondent | Sutherland Shire Gazette

11 December 2025

TAREN POINT - In a daring logistical experiment that absolutely no customer requested, Australia Post appears to be trialling a premium “scenic routing experience” for Express Post items - one that sends parcels on a therapeutic journey of self-discovery before allowing them to arrive one postcode away.

The pilot program was exposed this week after a local resident paid extra for Express Post, popped their satchel into the Taren Point mailbox on Monday afternoon, and watched in horror as the tracking updates read less like a delivery log and more like a European Contiki itinerary.

Instead of travelling east to Cronulla - a distance easily covered by a distracted ibis -the parcel launched itself boldly into the western hemisphere, first checking in at Sydney West on Tuesday night. From there it embarked on a spiritual stopover at Chullora, where it reportedly spent several contemplative hours, possibly journaling.

It finally reappeared in Cronulla on Wednesday, visibly worldly and carrying enough imaginary status credits to qualify for Qantas Chairman’s Lounge, despite not having technically left Greater Sydney.

Australia Post has defended the expedition, insisting the detours are part of a new “holistic delivery model” designed to ensure parcels gain “broader life experience” before settling down in someone’s letterbox.

“Customers expect speed,” a spokesperson told the Gazette. “But what about enrichment? What about personal growth? What about an item taking time to really find itself?”

Insiders say the next phase of the program may include optional upgrades such as a wellness retreat at Ingleburn, a cultural immersion at Wetherill Park, or a gap year in Brisbane.

Meanwhile, the customer who sent the original parcel says they’re simply relieved it has arrived at all.

“Honestly,” they said, “I thought it was going to apply for citizenship elsewhere.”