Local Enters Camping Store for Folding Chair, Exits $1,200 Later with Enough Equipment to Colonise Mars.

Sandy Shores | Editor-in-Chief | Sutherland Shire Gazette

8 November 2025

What began as a modest Saturday errand for “a folding chair and small camp table” has escalated into yet another case of Shire Dad Retail Overreach - a seasonal condition triggered by early Black Friday sales and the intoxicating scent of savings.

Local father-of-two Steve Dutton reportedly entered a camping megastore beyond Alfords Point Bridge with $200 worth of intentions and $1,200 worth of destiny.

“I just went in for a chair. But then I saw the bundle offer. Buy a fridge, get a solar panel half-price. Join the loyalty club, get a ‘members-only’ inverter discount. I basically made money walking out.”

By the second hour, witnesses report Dutton was muttering calculations into Notes on his phone, building a cost-benefit model that rivalled the local Council’s budget. “He was comparing the ROI on portable awnings,” said one shopper. “At one point I think he entered a flow state.”

When he finally emerged, Dutton was carrying an electric fridge, three panels of solar infrastructure, and what his wife later identified as “a communications satellite or possibly a high-end pizza oven.”

Kelly remains unimpressed. “We’re camping in Bundeena for two nights. Not launching a Mars mission,” she said, scrolling through the receipt like a coronial report.

Consumer experts warn this is textbook “discount delirium” — the phenomenon where otherwise rational adults spend 600% more to avoid missing out on 20% off.

Dutton maintains it was “strategic investment” ahead of future camping seasons. “Technically, I saved $380,” he said proudly, “and I’ll save even more next time I don’t need to buy all this again.”

As one mate summarised from the pub:

“He’s not a camper. He’s an early adopter of regret.”