Trevor the Dachshund Owns Three Raincoats, Still Refuses to Go Outside

Harper Vale | Investigative Journalist | Sutherland Shire Gazette

5 August 2025

Trevor, Cronulla’s most emotionally unavailable dachshund, has spent the entire rain-soaked past week refusing to walk more than six metres from the front door - despite owning not one, but three separate thermal raincoats.

With torrential downpours battering the Sutherland Shire and his carefully curated routine of Esplanade strutting completely derailed, I did what any sleep-deprived dog mum would do: I reached for The Wardrobe.

Trevor’s rainwear arsenal includes a navy puffer vest (practical, chic), a yellow fisherman-style slicker (highly photogenic, structurally useless), and a fitted camo ensemble purchased at a boutique pet market in Caringbah that cost more than my last haircut. Combined, they offer enough waterproofing to withstand a category 2 supercell storm - or so I thought.

Instead, Trevor stood motionless at the door for nine full minutes on Sunday, gazing into the storm like a heartbroken widower, before turning back inside and throwing himself onto his bed with the melodrama of a Year 9 drama assignment.

The rest of the weekend played out much the same: brief dashes outside for emotionally fraught wees, followed by extended towel-drying sessions and passive-aggressive sighing (mostly from him). At one point, his owner Jess Palmer, 36, found herself Googling “can dogs get seasonal depression” while wearing a parka and holding a cheese cube like a hostage negotiator.

Still, the raincoats remain. Because as every Shire resident - pet parent or otherwise - knows, it’s not really about whether they wear the thing.

It’s about being the kind of household that owns it. Preferably in three colours, with matching booties we all pretend are for ‘grip’.