Scenes of Chaos as Caringbah Couple’s Long-Awaited Child-Free Date Night Implodes

Skye Waverley | Social Reporter | Sutherland Shire Gazette

30 August 2025

Dramatic scenes unfolded in Caringbah last night as a local couple’s long-awaited child-free evening collapsed into a fiasco of indecision, buffering, and cold noodles.

With one child at the school disco and the other safely farmed out to a sleepover, the parents had not been this gloriously child-free in years. Locals report they appeared giddy, “like newlyweds on parole,” as they prepared for four uninterrupted hours of romance.

But tragedy struck almost immediately. Sources say 37 minutes were lost to a paralysing scroll across Netflix, Stan, Disney+, Binge, and an “Apple TV subscription nobody remembers paying for.” By the time a Scandi-noir thriller was chosen, the show began buffering “like a wounded soldier clinging to life.”

Food was no salvation. Witnesses describe 48 excruciating minutes spent ricocheting between Uber Eats, Menulog and DoorDash before ordering Thai that never arrived… at least not to their house. Instead, the Pad Thai was later discovered stone-cold, wedged into a neighbour’s boat trailer on the front lawn.

TAFE Gymea’s Associate Professor of Everyday Sociology, Dr Wendy Pratt, told the Shire Gazette the disaster highlights the dangers of too much choice.

“Years ago, families had a neat stack of glossy threefold pamphlets in the kitchen drawer, the local takeaway on speed dial, and everyone knew the order - ‘just the regular, thanks.’ Friday night viewing was no different: you either accepted whatever film Channel 10 served up at 8:30, or grabbed the latest release from Video Ezy on the way home. Simpler times. Now couples drown in infinite scrolls, paralysed by algorithms and delivery fees.”

By the time the children returned, their parents were reheating noodles and staring hollow-eyed at a “99% match” documentary they never watched.

“This is how empires fall,” the wife said, her voice cracking as she scraped congealed rice into the bin.

The Gazette understands counselling services will be offered.

Child-free date night