Flower Felony or Fashion Faux Pas? Man Bun Bandit Strikes Caringbah

Riley Corbett | Crimes Reporter | Sutherland Shire Gazette

13 January 2025

In what some are calling the most stylish crime of the year, local police are on the hunt for a grey-haired man with a man bun, who was caught on CCTV allegedly snatching a flower arrangement from the front of a Caringbah flower shop over the weekend. While the floral theft is under investigation, authorities seem far more concerned about the truly egregious offense: the man’s outdated hairdo.

The footage shows the suspect, dressed in a grey T-shirt and black sunglasses, casually sauntering past the florist before making a swift grab for a bouquet of blooms. While the flowers are worth $40, it’s the resurgence of the man bun that’s really raising eyebrows. “We’re treating this as both a theft and a crime against fashion,” quipped Detective Sergeant Linda Jacobs. “Honestly, the flowers are replaceable, but the man bun? That’s an offense to style we can’t ignore.”

The Shire has been buzzing with opinions, mostly about the man’s bold hair choice. “I can’t believe someone in 2025 still has the audacity to rock a man bun,” said local resident Greg Thompson. “I mean, who does he think he is? A time traveller from 2014?”

Police have even gone so far as to label the hairstyle a “fashion crime,” suggesting that the man bun’s appearance might lead to a ripple effect of questionable style choices in the area. “We’ve worked hard to move past that phase,” noted Sgt. Jacobs. “We can’t risk a resurgence. Next thing you know, people will be wearing cargo shorts again.”

As the investigation continues, locals have been advised to keep an eye out for any grey-haired men sporting outdated trends. Meanwhile, local florists are boosting their security, though it’s unclear if they’re more concerned about the flowers or the potential spread of man bun mania.

While the police remain tight-lipped about potential suspects, one thing is clear: this isn’t just a case of stolen flowers—it’s a battle for the soul (and style) of the Sutherland Shire