JUST IN: Local Man's 8-Year Battle With The Boulevard, Kingsway and President Avenue Ends In Defeat.

Harper Vale | Investigative Journalist | Sutherland Shire Gazette

25 June 2025

After nearly a decade of trying to master the Sutherland Shire’s holy trinity of main roads, local resident Chris Madden, 38, has officially given up.

Despite living in the area for eight years, the self-described “Shire convert” still cannot confidently navigate The Boulevard, Kingsway, and President Avenue Bermuda Triangle without ending up somewhere completely unintended.

“I honestly thought I had it last week,” Madden told The Sutherland Shire Gazette, shaking his head. “I left Westfield and followed what I thought was Kingsway… and somehow I was at Captain Cook Bridge, considering a life in Sans Souci.”

Experts agree: it’s not just confusing — it’s psychologically damaging.

Madden’s struggle is not uncommon among non-native Shire residents, with urban planners confirming that the three roads follow no apparent logic and seem to arbitrarily switch names depending on which way you're driving.

“We believe they were designed to confuse outsiders,” said Dr. Gavin Pennant, a leading expert in local navigation. “It’s a rite of passage - if you instinctively know which one leads to Cronulla without Google Maps, you’ve officially assimilated.”

Despite multiple attempts to commit the roads to memory, Madden continues to second-guess every turn. “Every time I think I’m on Kingsway, it turns out to be President. Or I’ll be on The Boulevard and suddenly, I’m back at Shark Park for some reason.”

In a last-ditch effort, Madden’s Shire-born mate has suggested a novel solution: “Just stop trying to name them. Just drive, mate. Let your instincts take over.”

For now, Madden remains hopeful. “Maybe in another eight years, I’ll crack it,” he sighed. “Or I’ll just move.”