Local Family Returns from Euro-Summer with Continental Accents and Refined Palates

Sienna Rivers | Lifestyle & Trends Columist | Sutherland Shire Gazette

23 July 2025

CARINGBAH SOUTH - A local family of four has returned from their annual Euro-summer migration to the Northern Hemisphere with tans, tailored linen, and a desperate need to let everyone know they “just got back from Europe.”

The Whittakers - Sarah and Damien, plus children Hugo (11) and Mila (9) - have been casually reintroducing themselves to the Shire by overusing the term “Euro Summer” in contexts both relevant and wildly unrelated.

“I asked how her dog was,” said barista Tilly at Our Father Café. “She said, ‘Oh he missed us terribly while we were in Puglia, but he’s settling back into the routine.’ I didn’t ask.”

According to sources, Sarah now exclusively refers to the local bakery as “the boulangerie”, and was overheard asking if the sourdough had “that proper tang like in Saint-Rémy.” When reminded she was in Caringbah South, she blinked slowly and said, “Ah yes, but spiritually, I’m still in Provence.”

The family insists on sustainable travel principles, despite having collectively clocked 150,000km in emissions to and from the Amalfi Coast. “We carbon-offset with a tote bag made from upcycled Milanese curtains,” Damien offered.

Sarah now drinks only Bottega Prosecco, insists Shire people eat far too early and wears Hermes leather sandals so soft they “moulded to the cobblestones of Venice.” Damien has developed a phantom accent and refers to Cronulla’s foreshore as “the Riviera.”

At least five neighbours report the family has managed to mention Italy, Greece or “the Med” in every conversation since landing. One passerby noted Damien recently compared the Miranda Bunnings experience to “a bit like navigating a Roman mercato, but with more signage.”

A return to normality seems unlikely. But if you do engage them in small talk, be warned: you’ll be in Portofino by sentence two.