Shire Dads Issue Public Plea - Stop Overthinking Father’s Day — Just Get Socks and Jocks Please

Sandy Shores | Editor-in-Chief | Sutherland Shire Gazette

4 Septemeber 2025

In a revelation that has shaken gift-giving mums and children across the Shire, new research confirms what most dads have been quietly signalling for decades: all they actually want for Father’s Day is socks and jocks. Nothing artisanal. Nothing experiential. Just a simple cotton blend that won’t disintegrate after one wash or chafe their inner thighs like a medieval punishment.

“I don’t need a pottery class in Marrickville or a scented beard wax and men’s skincare regime I’ll never use,” said local dad Steve, 42, who still hasn’t forgiven his children for last year’s plant-based leather wallet’ “Just give me socks. Plain, black. Maybe navy if you’re feeling adventurous.”

The data shows 87% of Shire fathers pray annually for a humble three-pack of Bonds trunks. Yet despite this, families continue to pursue what experts call “the Father’s Day Overcompensation Cycle,” wherein guilt-driven partners panic-purchase things that only create more work.

“It’s not a present if I have to put on an apron and julienne carrots,” said another dad, recalling the cooking class voucher still magneted to his fridge. “And don’t get me started on the Pilates passes. My hamstrings haven’t recovered.”

Local retailers, however, are thrilled by the simplicity. “Father’s Day is our Super Bowl,” confirmed a Miranda Westfield sock kiosk owner. “We’ve already sold out of size 10-13 ankle cuts. The Shire dads are coming in strong.”

Meanwhile, one dad was spotted walking proudly down the Esplanade this morning in fresh white Bonds, visible above his thongs, muttering “best Father’s Day ever.”

The Shire Gazette can confirm: sometimes the most boring option is the most beautiful.