WEEKEND EXCLUSIVE: Insire The Lifelong Struggle of Being Stephen With a PH. This is His Story.

Callum Finnerty | Features Editor | Sutherland Shire Gazette

14 December 2025

SUTHERLAND SHIRE - A local man has caused widespread conversational fatigue after yet another week of gently - but relentlessly - correcting the spelling of his own name, despite no one expressing the slightest interest.

Witnesses say Stephen “with a PH” Hollingsworth, 41, has now corrected baristas, parcel couriers, Medical staff, a toddler at the park, and one deeply confused ibis who wandered too close during brunch.

“It’s not aggressive,” said one shaken café worker. “He just says ‘Stephen - with a PH’ and then waits. Like you’re meant to acknowledge the letters. Spiritually.”

Residents report the reminders are delivered in the patient tone normally reserved for explaining cloud storage to older relatives.

“He corrects you earnestly,” said a neighbour. “As if the spelling of his name is a fragile historical artefact he’s been entrusted to protect.”

The behaviour reportedly occurs even when spelling is irrelevant. During a recent Bunnings sausage sizzle, Stephen spelled his name out loud while handing over $3.50 to a stranger who had not asked - and had not spoken.

In one now-infamous incident, Stephen was pulled over for a random breath test. When asked for his licence, he replied, “Sure - just noting, it’s Stephen with a PH.” The officer allegedly nodded slowly, then added five minutes to the stop for emotional recovery.

Experts from the Gymea TAFE Unit for Applied Conversation Studies say the condition stems from the “cognitive burden of niche spelling,” often affecting Stephens, Kathryns, and anyone whose parents replaced vowels “for individuality.”

“Every Stephen-with-a-PH lives in fear of being accidentally demoted to a V,” explained linguistics researcher Dr. Miriam Phrasewell. “The correction becomes reflexive - like blinking, or checking property prices.”

Friends say they’ve reached acceptance.

“We know about the PH,” said one. “We put it in your wedding card.”

Stephen remains unmoved.

“If I don’t defend the PH,” he told the Shire Gazette, “who will?”

At press time, he was seen correcting a Boost Juice cup labelled Stefn, quietly muttering, “They didn’t even give me a V this time.”