BREAKING: Ride or Hide - Cronulla Mall Rumoured to Ban Walking, Prioritise eBikes Only.

Sandy Shores | Editor-in-Chief | Sutherland Shire Gazette

12 January 2026

CRONULLA - In what locals are calling “the most Shire development since acai bowls were reclassified as a meal,” rumours are swirling that Cronulla Mall may soon ban pedestrian access altogether, with eBikes given full right of way.

The speculation follows a sharp and unexplained spike in eBike ownership since Christmas Day, with witnesses reporting that roughly every second resident now appears to be travelling at 38km/h between the Chemist and Baker’s Delight.

“I went down for a loaf of bread and nearly got clipped by a family of four on matching fat-tyre eBikes,” said one Woolooware grandmother. “I don’t even own one. Do I need to register as stationary traffic now?”

Supporters insist the shift reflects “modern urban mobility,” noting that walking has become the least efficient way to move through the Mall - narrowly beating standing still while someone decides between pistachio or salted caramel at Anita Gelato.

“Walking is basically a lifestyle choice now,” said local influencer Will, adjusting a helmet that has never made contact with his head. “If you’re not arriving at Boost Juice at full throttle, you’re holding everyone up.”

Critics argue the move could fracture the community. “How am I supposed to drag my kids through Timezone,” asked one Miranda mum, “when I’m dodging Uber Eats riders, teenagers on hire eBikes, and a bloke towing a surfboard at shoulder height?”

Council has neither confirmed nor denied the rumours, but Rebel Sport has reported a run on elbow pads, and one local dad has begun campaigning for a designated “slow lane” - where men over 40 can pedal awkwardly while muttering about how they “used to walk here just fine.”

At the current growth rate, Cronulla Mall isn’t becoming the new Pitt Street.

It’s becoming the Tour de France - with fewer berets, more vape smoke, and absolutely no one slowing down.