BREAKING: Shire Parents Re-Enter Western Sydney Orbit for Oasis Concert - Babysitters Invoke Surge Pricing

Skyle Waverley | Social Reporter | Sutherland Shire Gazette

7 November 2025

A mass exodus is currently underway as almost every Shire resident aged over 35 heads west for this weekend’s Oasis concerts, marking the first mass crossing of the Alfords Point Bridge since Ikea Tempe opened in 2012.

Experts say the scale is so vast, the Shire could have hosted its own Oasis concert at Greenhills and still sold out twice. Instead, thousands of locals are loading into chartered buses bound for Homebush - or as many are calling it, “the Western Hemisphere.”

Shuttle buses are departing from every suburb, with one mandatory  acoustic rendition of Don’t Look Back in Anger, and a scheduled loo stop at Padstow maccas.

“We’ve waited decades for this,” said Miranda mum Kelly. “I’ve had the same hair since 1997 - finally it’s fashionable again.”

One driver described the mood as “emotional, dehydrated, and slightly over-perfumed.”

Babysitters have entered a golden age of capitalism, tripling rates and demanding upfront deposits. 

Sociologists are calling the phenomenon “Reverse Schoolies” a nostalgic pilgrimage for those who once thought 1998 was just a warm-up act.

Meanwhile, liquor stores across the Shire confirm a sudden run on alcopops, dry shampoo, and Panadol Rapid.