Nothing Resolved, Everyone Traumatised: Strata Committee Meeting Hits New Emotional Lows

Finn Seabrook | Local Correspondent | Sutherland Shire Gazette

25 July 2025

MIRANDA - A local strata committee meeting descended into the usual chaos last night as exhausted residents gathered for their monthly dose of administrative trauma and low-level character assassination.

Tyrah, 47, opened with her trademark hostility, accusing fellow members of “negligence, corruption and probably tax fraud” over the communal fire extinguisher inspection schedule. She then launched into a heated debate with herself over whether the annual checks were “essential safety” or “a fear-mongering racket designed to oppress.” By minute 19, she’d emailed a formal complaint to the strata manager about herself, and then stormed out - only to return with a new motion and a fresh list of enemies.

“She leaves me rattled for days,” whispered Len, 73, who’s been trying to approve $80 for a replacement stair light since the Morrison government. “I get heart palpitations every time she replies all.”

Meanwhile, Claudette, 52, reversed her position on the removal of a dying camellia tree three times. She eventually endorsed its demolition after learning it might interfere with her plumbing - and by extension, her negative gearing strategy. “I’m pro-environment,” she clarified. “But not if the environment devalues my asset portfolio.”

Newcomer Julian, 64, remains convinced harmony is possible. He opened the meeting with a one-minute guided meditation and a request to “hold space for community energy.” He was met with three eye-rolls, one groan, and Tyrah opening a packet of Sakatas like it was a drum solo.

Also present was Neil, 58, who continues his holy war against improper recycling. He has distributed four laminated recycling manifestos under neighbours’ doors this month alone, including an 11-point guide on rinsing standards for glass jars and a passive-aggressive infographic about bin lid etiquette.

The meeting ended with Keith accidentally voting against his own motion (again), Tyrah referring herself to NCAT, and the fire extinguishers still unchecked.

Next meeting: same time, same trauma.