Cronulla in Mourning as Palm Trees Face the Chop: Locals Demand State Funeral for Fallen Fronds

Finn Seabrook | Local Correspondent | The Shire Gazette

12 June 2025

CRONULLA - The Kingsway is in crisis. Emotions are running high on the Kingsway this week as Cronulla’s iconic century-old palm trees prepare to meet their chainsaw-wielding fate. 

The scheduled removal of the diseased Canary Island Date Palms -  some dating back to the 1920s -  has triggered what experts are calling “an emotional Category Five response” from locals, with members of the Cronulla Palm Appreciation Society (CPAS) demanding a state funeral for the fallen flora. 

“This is bigger than us,” said local leaf-lover Hayley, adjusting her raffia sunhat. “These palms have been silently witnessing our hungover walks home from Northies since the Howard era. You don’t just replace that kind of cultural infrastructure.”

The culprit? Fusarium wilt, a ruthless fungus that has turned the once-proud Phoenix canariensis into botanical liabilities. 

Local MP Simon Kennedy has attempted to calm the leafy chaos, assuring constituents that the diseased trees would be replaced with Cook Pines, a species known for its resilience and local heritage. They will be replaced with even more palms than before. “We’re going full ‘Palms 2.0’,” Kennedy promised. “More shade, more fronds, less fungus.”

However, the announcement did little to stem the tide of grief. Kennedy's office has been inundated with calls, emails, and one particularly aggressive interpretive dance protesting the "arborcide."

Council has confirmed the trees will begin coming down sometime this week. 

CPAS is rumoured to be hosting a candlelit vigil featuring ukulele renditions of Hotel California and calling for “respectful mourning attire in earthy tones” and “no passive-aggressive chanting unless it rhymes.”

The new Cook Pines are expected to be planted in the coming months. Until then, Cronulla mourns, its skyline a little less shady, its heart a little heavier.