top of page

The Sutherland Shire Gazette

Serving Sutherland Shire's finest satirical local news since 2024

Follow us

Local Weather

Local News & Nonsense

Aerial view of suburban area with blue driveway lights resembling runways. Headline humorously reports BREAKING: Shire Floats Plan for Its Own Airport After Driveway Light Fever Accidentally Builds ‘Unregulated Runway Network’. Sutherland Shire Gazette.

Aerial view of suburban area with blue driveway lights resembling runways. Headline humorously reports BREAKING: Shire Floats Plan for Its Own Airport After Driveway Light Fever Accidentally Builds ‘Unregulated Runway Network’. Sutherland Shire Gazette.

BREAKING: Shire Floats Plan for Its Own Airport After Driveway Light Fever Accidentally Builds ‘Unregulated Runway Network’.

Nov 20, 20252 min read

Fish lies by a "Anywhere but here" sign on roadside, implying escape. Text: "Shire fish seen hitchhiking..." Humorous tone.

Fish lies by a "Anywhere but here" sign on roadside, implying escape. Text: "Shire fish seen hitchhiking..." Humorous tone.

JUST IN: Shire Fish Seen Hitchhiking Out of Local Waterways - Experts Blame New Water Quality Report

Nov 19, 20252 min read

Dachshund Dog in hat reaching up to microphone before "Skeetas South" sign amid fog. Text: Trevor missing after e-bike incident. Theme: news and humor.

Dachshund Dog in hat reaching up to microphone before "Skeetas South" sign amid fog. Text: Trevor missing after e-bike incident. Theme: news and humor.

BREAKING: Trevor Missing After Skeetas Meltdown - Reputation in Crisis as E-Bike Ankle Nipping Allegations Emerge

Nov 18, 20252 min read

Woman in a car with a determined look. Headline above reads, ‘Didn’t Ask, Don’t Care’: Shire Woman Officially Enters Perimenopause Era, Declares It a Liberation Movement. Sutherland Shire Gazette.

Woman in a car with a determined look. Headline above reads, ‘Didn’t Ask, Don’t Care’: Shire Woman Officially Enters Perimenopause Era, Declares It a Liberation Movement. Sutherland Shire Gazette.

‘Didn’t Ask, Don’t Care’: Shire Woman Officially Enters Perimenopause Era, Declares It a Liberation Movement

Nov 17, 20251 min read

Beach scene with adults and children in pink and orange vests running into the waves at Nippers. Headline: Shire Parents hit “Nippers Fatigue” But Will Continue Pretending Everything is Fine Until March. Sutherland Shire Gazette.

Beach scene with adults and children in pink and orange vests running into the waves at Nippers. Headline: Shire Parents hit “Nippers Fatigue” But Will Continue Pretending Everything is Fine Until March. Sutherland Shire Gazette.

SPECIAL REPORT: Shire Parents Officially Hit “Nippers Fatigue” — But Will Continue Pretending Everything Is Fine Until March

Nov 16, 20252 min read

A packed freezer full of food containers and bags. Text: "BREAKING: Freezer Purge begins across the shire - residents enter mystery mel season ahead of christmas strage crisis," "SUTHERLAND SHIRE GAZETTE." Mood: humorous.

A packed freezer full of food containers and bags. Text: "BREAKING: Freezer Purge begins across the shire - residents enter mystery mel season ahead of christmas strage crisis," "SUTHERLAND SHIRE GAZETTE." Mood: humorous.

BREAKING: Freezer Purge Begins Across the Shire — Residents Enter ‘Mystery Meal Season’ Ahead of Christmas Storage Crisis

Nov 15, 20252 min read

BREAKING: Local Couple Locked in Covert Smuggling War — Guitar Pedals and Craft Vinyl at Centre of Domestic Deception

Nov 14, 20252 min read

Man in a bright vest rides an e-bike on a sunny road. A crate with greens is on the back. Headline: Search underway for missing retired local man last seen eastbound on Captain Cook Drive - estimated arrival sunday.

Man in a bright vest rides an e-bike on a sunny road. A crate with greens is on the back. Headline: Search underway for missing retired local man last seen eastbound on Captain Cook Drive - estimated arrival sunday.

BREAKING: Search Underway for Retired Local Man Last Seen On E-Bike Heading Eastbound on Captain Cook Drive - Estimated Arrival, Sunday.

Nov 13, 20252 min read

BREAKING INVESTIGATION: Honeysuckle Creek Reserve Rock Dropper Identified as Local Man Excavating Backyard Pool - One Bag at a Time.

Nov 12, 20251 min read

Dachshund wearing a hat sits at a bar with a beer. Headline: "Trevor the Dachshund Announces Plans to Take the Mic at Skeeters - Eyes Collaboration with Local 90s Rock Band.". Sutherland Shire Gazette

Dachshund wearing a hat sits at a bar with a beer. Headline: "Trevor the Dachshund Announces Plans to Take the Mic at Skeeters - Eyes Collaboration with Local 90s Rock Band.". Sutherland Shire Gazette

BREAKING: Trevor the Dachshund Announces Plans to Take the Mic at Skeetas - Eyes Collaboration with Local 90s Rock Band.

Nov 11, 20251 min read

EXCLUSIVE: More Dumbbells and Kettles Than Parking Spaces - Sutherland Shire Council To Declare “Protected Muscle Zone” for Kirrawee and Taren Point.

EXCLUSIVE: More Dumbbells and Kettles Than Parking Spaces - Sutherland Shire Council To Declare “Protected Muscle Zone” for Kirrawee and Taren Point.

EXCLUSIVE: More Dumbbells and Kettles Than Parking Spaces - Sutherland Shire Council To Declare “Protected Muscle Zone” for Kirrawee and Taren Point.

Nov 10, 20251 min read

Concert stage with vibrant lights, large crowd, and a scenic backdrop. Headline: Shire Residents return from Oasis concert, now declaring 2025 best year since 1998.

Concert stage with vibrant lights, large crowd, and a scenic backdrop. Headline: Shire Residents return from Oasis concert, now declaring 2025 best year since 1998.

UPDATE: Shire Residents Returning from Oasis Concert Now Declaring 2025 ‘Best Year Since 1998’

Nov 9, 20252 min read

SUV loaded with boxes outside 4WD SUPA store. Headline: Local buys camping gear, exits $1,200 later. Sutherland Shire Gazette info.

SUV loaded with boxes outside 4WD SUPA store. Headline: Local buys camping gear, exits $1,200 later. Sutherland Shire Gazette info.

Local Enters Camping Store for Folding Chair, Exits $1,200 Later with Enough Equipment to Colonise Mars.

Nov 8, 20252 min read

Bus decorated with Union Jack and "OASIS" sign drives on road; headline about concert and babysitters' surge pricing overlay.

Bus decorated with Union Jack and "OASIS" sign drives on road; headline about concert and babysitters' surge pricing overlay.

BREAKING: Shire Parents Re-Enter Western Sydney Orbit for Oasis Concert - Babysitters Invoke Surge Pricing

Nov 7, 20251 min read

Worn-out school shoes on the floor with a backpack and lunchbox nearby. Headline text: New Study Confirms School Shoes Genetically Engineered to Disintegrate Halfway Through Term 4. Sutherland Shire Gazette.

Worn-out school shoes on the floor with a backpack and lunchbox nearby. Headline text: New Study Confirms School Shoes Genetically Engineered to Disintegrate Halfway Through Term 4. Sutherland Shire Gazette.

New Study Confirms School Shoes Genetically Engineered to Disintegrate Halfway Through Term 4

Nov 6, 20251 min read

BREAKING: Shire Man’s 3-Hour Quest for Cash Exposes Grim Truth — Cash Is King, But the Kingdom’s Gone

Nov 5, 20252 min read

Trevor the Dachshund wearing an "OASIS" harness howling on a red mat in a mall. Nearby, a hat with money. Text: "EXCLUSIVE: Trevor the Dachshund Discovered Busking in Cronulla Mall - Claims Local Bands would be lucky to have him." Sutherland Shire Gazette.

Trevor the Dachshund wearing an "OASIS" harness howling on a red mat in a mall. Nearby, a hat with money. Text: "EXCLUSIVE: Trevor the Dachshund Discovered Busking in Cronulla Mall - Claims Local Bands would be lucky to have him." Sutherland Shire Gazette.

EXCLUSIVE: Trevor the Dachshund Discovered Busking in Cronulla Mall — Claims Local Bands Would Be “Lucky to Have Him”

Nov 4, 20252 min read

Channel-billed cuckoo on a branch, blue-gray feathers, with headline about their noisy return. Background has eucalyptus leaves. Headline: ‘Make It Stop’: Channel-Billed Cuckoos Return from Papua New Guinea Holiday to Terrorise the Shire Once Again. Sutherland Shire Gazette.

Channel-billed cuckoo on a branch, blue-gray feathers, with headline about their noisy return. Background has eucalyptus leaves. Headline: ‘Make It Stop’: Channel-Billed Cuckoos Return from Papua New Guinea Holiday to Terrorise the Shire Once Again. Sutherland Shire Gazette.

‘Make It Stop’: Channel-Billed Cuckoos Return from Papua New Guinea Holiday to Terrorise the Shire Once Again

Nov 3, 20251 min read

Ghostly figure holding documents appears in council chamber, surrounded by seated officials. Monitors display landscapes. Headline Text: Ghost of Development Applications Past Spotted Haunting Council Chambers. Sutherland Shire

Ghostly figure holding documents appears in council chamber, surrounded by seated officials. Monitors display landscapes. Headline Text: Ghost of Development Applications Past Spotted Haunting Council Chambers. Sutherland Shire

Ghost of Development Applications Past Spotted Haunting Sutherland Shire Council Chambers

Oct 31, 20251 min read

Locals Call for Dedicated ‘Wheelie Lane’ Across Captain Cook Bridge to Support Youth Innovation

Oct 27, 20251 min read

Croydon Street Carpark entrance with blue sign, max clearance warning. Text highlights parking space hoax, locals seek evidence. Headline: Inside the Croydon Street Cronulla Car Park Hoax - Sign Still Claiming 405 Spaces Available - Locals Demand Proof. Sutherland Shire Gazette.

Croydon Street Carpark entrance with blue sign, max clearance warning. Text highlights parking space hoax, locals seek evidence. Headline: Inside the Croydon Street Cronulla Car Park Hoax - Sign Still Claiming 405 Spaces Available - Locals Demand Proof. Sutherland Shire Gazette.

EXCLUSIVE: Inside the Croydon Street Cronulla Car Park Hoax - Sign Still Claiming 405 Spaces Available - Locals Demand Proof.

Oct 25, 20251 min read

Roadside vigil in Loftus for fallen DIY shed project with flowers and candles arranged around metal sheets. Text: "A Suburb Mourns. Roadside Vigil Held in Loftus for Fallen DIY Shed Project. Put Your Wrenches Out" Sutherland Shire Gazette.

Roadside vigil in Loftus for fallen DIY shed project with flowers and candles arranged around metal sheets. Text: "A Suburb Mourns. Roadside Vigil Held in Loftus for Fallen DIY Shed Project. Put Your Wrenches Out" Sutherland Shire Gazette.

A SUBURB MOURNS: Roadside Vigil Held in Loftus for Fallen DIY Shed Project. Put Your Wrenches Out.

Oct 19, 20251 min read

4wd, camping tent, and campfire on grassy beach setting with ocean view. Bright orange recovery boards on vehicle. Headline: Holiday Horror Averted: Decorative Recovery Boards Finally Justify Their Existence at Easts BeachText: Sutherland Shire Gazette.

4wd, camping tent, and campfire on grassy beach setting with ocean view. Bright orange recovery boards on vehicle. Headline: Holiday Horror Averted: Decorative Recovery Boards Finally Justify Their Existence at Easts BeachText: Sutherland Shire Gazette.

Holiday Horror Averted: Decorative 4WD Recovery Boards Finally Justify Their Existence at Easts Beach

Oct 6, 20252 min read

Sneakers and a colorful tyre-bead doormat on a porch. Lush greenery surrounds. Headline Text: Still Got A Few Stomps Left: Local Man Refuses to Replace Iconic Tyre Bead Doormat After 34 Years. Sutherland Shire Gazette

Sneakers and a colorful tyre-bead doormat on a porch. Lush greenery surrounds. Headline Text: Still Got A Few Stomps Left: Local Man Refuses to Replace Iconic Tyre Bead Doormat After 34 Years. Sutherland Shire Gazette

“Still Got a Few Stomps Left”: Local Man Refuses to Replace Iconic Tyre Bead Doormat After 34 Years

Sep 21, 20252 min read

Get in Touch

Got a great tip on a story or feedback?

info@mysite.com

bottom of page